We all escaped.

I had such a gorgeous dream - it was full of my favourite people, Micah, KJ, Mark etc. - they were all there and we were swimming in the ocean, and then there was a whale (KJ noticed it, and I think I caught a glimpse of it) and it jumped in the water, and there were gigantic waves (huge - the whale and the waves), and all of us swam towards the shore (West Shore of you know where) and I tried to follow the surf rules, when the huge wave is behind you, you just have to swim straight. We all escaped.

IKEA beds

Last night I broke my [IKEA] bed. Noticed only today, when I was blow drying my hair for the Holy Fuck event in Heaven tonight.

Memory 5.

And it reminded me of that night, so many years ago, when Lincoln and I used to fight on his [IKEA] bed, in the huge rented house in East London, and the frame broke completely, at that very point, when he caught me on top of him, and we were laughing hysterically. We continued to laugh, though the night. And at that point, we hadn't even kissed.
Those were the days of my crazy youth.

Lincoln is now married. And he changed his name to Tyler.

A note on pain.

There is nothing more painful
Than hearing him say
"You are beautiful"
To the other girl.
When you are the one
Who prays for him

Every night.

i love ocean.

Overhead, originally uploaded by konaboy.

i love ocean
more than sex with you.

eternity in the waves
seems not so bad an option
compared to unsatisfactory sex
with you.

((Just a little piece of poetry to get me through the night..))

someone he really likes

You fall in love with a boy. When you look at him - nothing else exist. Nothing else exists when you are not with him, just sluggish time, minutes, hours, days of waiting to see him.

Then you see him, somewhere in Berlin, it's a warm spring night and you end up smoking cigarette after cigarette in an uncomfortable silence, and then he says that he actually had met someone he really liked. And he asks if he could hug you. And you say, no worries, it was fun. He walks you to the taxi. The taxi drives you away from him, further and further away. And you never speak to him again. On the phone, yes, but never in person.

He has been going out with the girl for a couple of years now. You know, the one he really likes.

Then the album comes out, and you know exactly where to look to see her name among the names of people unknown to you they are thanking. He included her name. He thanked her.

And it still hurts like hell. Like hell.

I ♥ ♥ ♥ COURTNEY LOVE. Forever.

And ever and ever.

She is amazing and gorgeous and talented and funny and loving and full of jokes and kind and she so clearly has one big heart.

With all the negative comments I kept getting about going to see Hole, I was completely blown away by the sheer god-likeness of Courtney. And her talent. And her voice.

LOVE.

((I think I need to go and lie down, otherwise I will definitely get cradiac arrest. Or something. At my tender age.))

Pranks.

Inna is staying with me until Tuesday. She is supposed to be staying with me but she parties really hard this time so I barely see her. Maybe she is still in shock after she was sexually assaulted (yes really, we even called the police) in front of my building at 2AM at night on Thursday (her first day in London!) She was quite shaken but I guess we decided to forget about it after the glorious London police informed us that they were dropping the case since she lived in Germany and was not interested in coming to be a witness in court, if they would ever catch the bastard. But they took all the clothes she was wearing that night to look for DNA evidence.

Anyway. We’ve been entertaining ourselves making prank calls to all the boys we know. Mainly in the States. Hours of endless fun.

Anyway. It’s Deadmau5 tonight. It’s about time we hit the dance floor properly!

Another 5.

In April those were:

1. "Sleepwalking" by Julie Myerson - why??
2. "Anthropology" by Dan Rhodes - my anti-book!
3. "New Moon" by Stephenie Meyer - I am somewhat of an addict
4. "The Rain Before It Falls" by Jonathan Coe - enjoyable
5. "Eclipse" by Stephenie Meyer - I am officially an addict.

Twlight Saga does it for me nowadays. I don't want to know anything else at the moment. May will be hard with all the exams and all. I will do my best to read the next five, promise!

4 o'clock in the morning.

I love going to sleep to the sound of early morning birds.

I don't like going to the club (this time it was Mahiki), kissing [for ages] the most handsome guy in there, and then going home in a taxi without his number and/or even his name.

P.S. I wouldn't want his number, anyway. It's somewhat sad that he did not ask for mine.